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It’s not French and it’s not new. It’s Wisconsin’s own LaCroix, first launched in 1981. And it comes in many, many flavors. But for this GMM taste test, Rhett & Link stuck to the single-flavor La Croix varieties. They donned their dual-action LaCroix tasting device and sucked down ten flavors, scoring them on a one-to-ten scale. Here’s how the ranking fizzed out. (For even more sparkling waters, check out the Sporked ranking.)

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“It tastes like I licked a sunbather,” said Rhett. “I just can’t get my tongue around this one. He gave it a 1, while Link simply commented that it was “lotiony” and gave it a flat 0.

The plain sparkling water did not impress. “It’s effervescent nothing,” said Link. He gave it a 1. Rhett liked it but noted you can get “non-flavored water in so many places,” and gave it a 4. 

“It tastes like fruit made in a lab—made by a doctor,” said Rhett. “A good doctor,” Link countered. Rhett gave it a 3 and Link, good doctor comment aside, gave it a 4.

Both Rhett & Link agreed that citrus flavors do particularly well in sparkling water. They liked this one (Rhett gave it a 5 and Link gave it a 3), but not as much as some of the other citrus flavors. “It has a cleaner-esque taste to it,” Link said.

“I like a dry mango but do I like a wet mango?” Link pondered. He gave it an above average score of 5.5. Rhett was not as sold on it. “I just taste baby food that’s a week old,” he said, and gave it a 3.

The boys were split on this one. “It has a fakey taste to it,” said Rhett. He gave it a 3.5. “I don’t taste the fakeness as much,” Link said and gave it a 5.75.

Link admitted to not liking grapefruit but he still gave this one a 5. Rhett was much more of a fan and gave the water that taught Americans the French word for grapefruit a 7.1.

“What kind of berry is it?” asked Rhett. “I don’t care, I like it,” said Link. He gave it a 6 while Rhett gave it a 7.

“It has the sweetness of the orange with the refreshingness of the lime,” Rhett said. He gave it an 8.1 (his top score), while Link gave it a 7.

“I’m a big fan of this one,” said Rhett. “This is a flavor that was meant to be added to a sparkling water.” Both he and Link gave it an 8.

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